it’s funny, in a way—eternity or mortality, they’re a dichotomy, there’s no possible middle ground between existing forever and not. how can it even be possible that they’re both so frightening? if one thing is scary, shouldn’t its opposite, its mutually constitutive notness, be soothing? and if all possible outcomes are frightening, shouldn’t fear give way to resignation, acceptance?
i’m scared of snuffing out, but i’m also scared of the implications of eternity.
reasonably, i know it’s because i’m trying to grasp the ungraspable—heaven—with my limited human mind. of course no human would reasonably want to live forever, because we can only comprehend living forever on earth, full of suffering and sin. a human can’t even begin to grasp the nature of heaven.
of all the animals, humans are the only ones so frightened of our own mortality. all animals are built to preserve their lives, of course, but they act through instinct. they do not fear the state of death itself, or ponder an afterlife. humans have a uniquely painful self-awareness.
it’s our burden of knowledge, i suppose.